C O R N E R

親愛的上天,

對不起我先承認自己並沒有宗教信仰
我不說親愛的上帝或親愛的阿拉或親愛的阿彌陀佛
但是我仍喚祢

mi chico querido,

不要罵我不乖跑來寫情書。
你也知道寫論文的人最大的特徵，就是對所有事情都會特別來勁---除了寫論文之外！

進度這玩意兒，像是烏龜或是蝸牛一樣，拖拖拉拉地很難催促他跑快一些。腦子裡的思緒雖多卻東一塊西一塊又雜又亂，總讓我坐在電腦前癡癡地冥想，希望能把它們整理得有結構一點，卻又少不了寫寫改改的命運。一下子早晨起床時的雄心壯志就被磨損光，站起身來吼吼叫叫跳來跳去，或是噗通倒到床上放縱地睡一會兒，又或者喝幾口讓我總是心悸卻又少不得的即溶黑咖啡，偶爾能因此而喚回一點殘存不多的清醒。

mi chico querido,

我回到英國了。

到底應不應該用「回到」兩個字呢？其實我不清楚。

mi chico querido,

隨著日子倒數漸去，五十幾逐漸變成二十幾的等待

人總說時間無情

確實，它的擺動不因任何人的情感而變化

mi chico querido, 

And I want to play hide-and-seek 
but I won't hide myself from you

and give you my clothes and tell you I like your shoes and sit on the steps while you take a bath and massage your neck and wash your feet and hold your hand and go for a meal and not mind when you eat my food and meet you at a café where you are familiar with and talk about the day and read your letters again and again and take away your unhappiness and give you some music I love and read the books you like and I am unable to stop the lovely poem-like long chat with you and watch great films and watch terrible films and complain about the radio and be angry about the politics and take pictures of you when you’re sleeping and get up to fetch you coffee and bagels and go to the Starbucks which you spent all your youth there and drink coffee again at midnight and tell you about the tv programme I saw the night before and laugh at your jokes although they are terrible and want you in the morning but let you sleep for a while and kiss your back and stroke your skin and tell you how much I love your hair your eyes your lips your neck your breasts your arse your 

Mi chico querido,

你這麼寫著：

「至於永恆(enternity)的概念，我想到的一個數學上對無限大(infinity)這個概念的解釋。

Mi chico querido, 

我成為令人安心的對方了嗎？ 

一直很羨慕能夠讓別人感到舒適安祥並放心的人，我是說，那種，無論你在外面四處遊玩，最後都會想回到「家」的那種感覺，回到最簡單乾淨的狀態。對我而言這是最難能可貴的情感，若能被那樣愛著，一定是一件很棒的事情。

                                                                                                                                                              雲是想你的形狀

Mi chico querido,

這樣的夜晚並不平靜。

莉西達對遠方的思念將她包裹得密密實實，也成了走不出的圍城。

整個城市染成了紅色，夾雜著憤怒與不滿。這片紅，在街頭，在反反覆覆的雨中蔓延，宣洩出累積著太久的情緒。

咫尺之外，沸沸湯湯的政治大戲

咫尺之內，來來往往的探戈腳步 

我
長久以來習於獨立作業